


Four Years

by Gerstein03



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, The author needed to vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26788612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gerstein03/pseuds/Gerstein03
Summary: The Gaang gets together after five years and a massive secret is revealed
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

Zuko received a letter from Aang inviting him to the Southern Air Temple. It had been five years since they’d all been together at the end of the war. Five years since he’d seen Katara. The last time he’d seen her was the day she kissed Aang. They’d briefly had a fling in the days after the war so seeing her kiss Aang had torn his heart out. What was worse was their relationship hadn’t lasted a month. Zuko let out a sigh.  _ Maybe this is a chance to make amends _ . At the very least he was looking forward to seeing Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki again. Climbing on Druk’s back he flew off towards the Southern Air Temple where Aang, Toph, Sokka, Suki, and Katara were already waiting.

“Zuko?” Sokka grinned. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I guess the invite was last minute.” Zuko shugged, sending Aang a bitter look. “But it’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too Sparky.” Toph chimed in.

“Nice try Toph.” Zuko chuckled. “I’m not falling for that. I’m not Sokka.”

“Damn.” Toph smirked.

“Where’s Katara?” Zuko asked.

“She and Suki are inside fussing over Izumi.” Toph answered.

“Who?” Zuko asked.

“Katara’s daughter.” Sokka explained. “She’s four now.”

“Is she-” Sokka waved his hand to cut off Zuko’s question.

“No she’s not Aang’s.” Sokka replied. “She won’t tell me who’s just that it’s not Aang’s.” They went inside and saw the girls. When Zuko saw the kid, he was suddenly filled with an immense anger.

“Katara.” Zuko spat. “Care to explain?”

“What are you talking about?” Aang asked.

“Golden eyes are a very rare trait, most commonly associated with the Fire Nation Royal Family.” Zuko sneered. Everyone’s eyes shifted to Izumi, who looked confused and then to Zuko. The eyes matched. The expression on Katara’s face confirmed it.

“Zuko-” Katara’s breath hitched. Before she could say another word Zuko stormed out.

\---

_ Oh shit _ . Katara thought. This was not supposed to happen. She hadn’t even known Zuko was coming. If she had she would’ve left Izumi at home in the South Pole.

“Mommy why’s he mad?” Izumi asked.

“Just grown-up stuff sweetie.” Katara assured her daughter. “Suki can you put Izumi to bed? I need to go talk to Zuko.”

“Sure.” Suki nodded. She lead Izumi to her room as Katara started to walk out before she was suddenly stuck to the floor encased in earth.

“Toph!” Katara yelled. “I need to go talk to Zuko!”

“I think you’re the last person he wants to see right now Katara.” Toph spat. “Explain. Now.”

“Fine.” Katara sighed. “Five years ago during the first few days after the war, Zuko and I had a thing. This was before Aang and I got together. After we broke up I was embarrassed and I didn’t think he wanted to see me. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was going to tell Zuko but I kept making excuses because I was too afraid to face him. I was afraid he’d turn me away or that he wouldn’t forgive me. As time went on it got harder and harder to stop making excuses. I knew he’d be angry I hid her from him for so long and I didn’t wanna face it.”

“You fucked up Sugar Queen.” Toph stated.

“I know.” Katara said. “Believe me I regret it. Now he’ll never wanna speak to me again.”

“Look Katara, just give him some space right now.” Sokka suggested. “Let him cool off and you can talk to him later.”

“Okay.” Katara nodded. Hours later, Zuko hadn’t come back yet so Aang went off to look for him.

“I have some bad news.” Aang said when he returned. “Zuko’s gone.”

\---

It had been three weeks since Zuko left the Southern Air Temple. Three weeks since Katara had last seen him. At that point she couldn’t take it anymore so she hopped on a ship and booked passage to the Fire Nation. The boat approached the Gates of Azulon, now remade into the Gates of Iroh. When the ship docked, Katara made a beeline for the Palace. She quickly found Zuko in his study hunched over his work.

“Zuko-” Katara said, not knowing where to go.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Zuko spat, not looking up from his work.

“I know there’s no excuse for what I did.” Katara stammered. “I’m really sorry Zuko.”

“Do you think ‘sorry’ makes up for you making me miss the first four years of my daughter’s life?” Zuko demanded.

“No.” Katara admitted. “But I will do whatever I have to to make it up to you.”

“Unless you learned how to Timebend you can’t.” Zuko sneered.

“Please Zuko I will do anything.” Katara begged. “Name it and you’ll have it.”

“There is no fix.” Zuko stated. “There’s no amends. I will never forgive you for this. You kept my daughter from me for four years. I will never see her come into this world. I won’t hear her first word or hold her as an infant girl. All those precious moments that come with your first child. You stole them from me. If I did that to you, would you forgive me?”

“I don’t know.” Katara sniffled.

“You stole something precious from me Katara.” Zuko said. “And there will never be enough apologies to get it back. Please leave.” After Zuko kicked her out of the Palace, Katara slumped down on the steps and began to cry. He hated her and he never wanted to see her again and Katara didn’t blame him. She’d hurt Zuko through what she had done. Because of her, her daughter wouldn’t have a father. And she had just lost the man she loved forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Katara watched as her daughter slept soundly in her bed, running her fingers through her jet black hair. It was uncanny how much she looked like Zuko. She was surprised the others never noticed but they likely thought Izumi was the result of a random hookup with someone from the Fire Nation which is probably why Aang was so disapproving. Katara let out a long sigh. She hated that Zuko had suffered for her mistakes and she hated that Izumi now would as well. Katara knew what it was like to live without a parent and she hated doing that to her daughter. Without even thinking, Katara shook her awake.

“Come on baby.” Katara whispered. “We’re gonna take a little trip.”

“Where Mommy?” Izumi asked.

“It’s a surprise.” Katara smiled. It was getting late when she arrived at the palace. She checked Zuko’s office and saw that he wasn’t there.  _ Where is he? _ Katara wondered. Then she remembered the little Turtleduck Pond Zuko had shown her. It had been a special place to him. He told her how his mother would bring him there and they would feed the turtleducks. The fact that he had been willing to share that special place with her filled her with even more guilt. She went to the pond and found him sitting at the pond tossing little chunks of bread to the turtleducks.

“I thought I told you to leave.” Zuko spat, not looking up from the pond.

“How’d you know it was me?” Katara asked.

“No one else would ever disturb me here.” Zuko answered. Katara hung her head and pressed forward.

“I know you hate me and I know nothing will ever change that.” Katara said. “I’m not here for me. I’m here for Izumi. And for you. She deserves the chance to know her father and you deserve the chance to know your daughter.” Zuko turned around to see a little girl standing next to Katara.

“Daddy?” Izumi asked.

“Yeah baby.” Katara smiled. “That’s your father.” Izumi hesitated slightly, causing a look of pain to flash across Zuko’s face that she almost wished she missed. She did that. She made it harder for Zuko’s daughter to accept him. And knowing how much Zuko suffered in hopes of his family accepting him, Katara hated that now Zuko would have to work for his own child to accept him as her father and it killed her that it was her fault. Izumi approached Zuko who held out a piece of the bread.

“Now throw it to the turtleducks.” Zuko encouraged. Izumi obeyed and tossed the piece of bread into the pond. Zuko gently pulled one of the ducks out of the pond and handed it to Izumi. “Be careful.” Zuko said. “We don’t wanna hurt it.”

“Okay Daddy.” Izumi smiled. Katara watched the scene unfold before her and wiped the tears from her eyes. More than anything she wanted to sit next to her daughter and Zuko and be together as a family. But she couldn’t. She’d robbed him of four years of his daughter’s life. She would not intrude on his time with her. Instead she would watch and think of what might have been. The vision she saw was a beautiful one. Izumi running around the palace, them all at the Turtleduck Pond enjoying the sunshine, her wrapped in Zuko’s warm embrace while Izumi tossed bread into the pond for the ducks. Sharing a bed with him, falling asleep in his arms. More than anything Katara wished it were true but she knew it wasn’t. And she knew it never would be.

“Keep feeding the turtleducks.” Zuko said. “Your mom and I need to talk grown up stuff.” Izumi nodded and Zuko pulled Katara aside. “Alright Katara. How’s this gonna work?”

“Izumi lives here and has a father.” Katara answered. “She’ll be raised in the Fire Nation by her father. She will live here until she’s old enough to decide what she wants.”

“I was expecting something more like six months here six months in the South Pole.” Zuko stated.

“No.” Katara shook her head. “I already stole four years with your daughter from you. I can’t give them back but I can make damn sure you get every moment you can, even if it means me not being a part of her life.”

“What are you talking about?” Zuko asked.

“I know you will never forgive me Zuko and I know you don’t want me here.” Katara sniffled. “You will be her primary caretaker. I will come every few months, stay a couple days and then leave.”

“You’re punishing yourself.” Zuko frowned.

“I deserve it.” Tears began to fall from Katara’s face. “I deserve this pain for what I did, for how I hurt you. The pain I am in is a result of my actions and my fears. When I found out that I was pregnant I was terrified you’d turn me away, that I’d destroyed what we had and you’d want nothing to do with me or our child. Now I realize that I did that anyway with my fear and shame.” After a long pause, Zuko finally said, “I’ll have the servents set up your quarters and Izumi’s quarters. She needs her mother too. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you but you don’t deserve that pain.”

“Neither did you.” Katara murmured. “I will spend the rest of my life hating myself for what I did to you. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I’d made a different choice”

“Why did you Katara?” Zuko asked. “We had whatever was happening between us after the war and then you rush into the arms of your precious Avatar. Why?”

“I was stupid and scared.” Katara sighed. “I was afraid of what I felt for you so I ran to Aang because he was safe. I knew what I had with him. Then I quickly realized that what I had with Aang was not what I wanted. I wanted what I had with you. He put me on a pedestal and expected me to take care of him all the time like his mother. You always understood me. You’ve seen me at my lowest and never once held it against me. I was ashamed of what I’d done. I didn’t know how to face you and I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life. You are the man I wish I could grow old with. No one else will ever compare.” Zuko dropped his head into his hands.

“I feel the same Katara.” Zuko sighed. “Hell I went to the Southern Air Temple hoping we could talk. But now I just am so angry and hurt that you’d hide my daughter from me. That you wouldn’t tell me about her. That you caused me to miss the first four years of her life. I don’t know how to forgive you.”

“I know.” Katara whispered. “I know I don’t deserve it. I will spend the rest of my life trying and failing to make this right.”

\---

Katara put Izumi to bed in her new room when Izumi asked, “Are you and Daddy gonna be together?”

“No baby.” Katara answered. “Daddy and I are not going to be together. And it’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” After returning to her room, Katara finally cracked. She fell back into her bed and began to sob into her pillow. “I’m so sorry Zuko!” Katara cried. “I’m so so sorry!”

\---

Over the course of the next six months, Katara and Zuko came to an uneasy truce for the sake of their daughter. For Katara, every step forward meant two steps back with Zuko. Every day was pain. Being so close to the man she loved more than anything but unable to be with him broke her heart every day. Then one night after watching Zuko kindly and sweetly tuck their daughter into bed, it all broke through. Katara collapsed in sorrow, sobbing on the floor so hard she didn’t even register Zuko carrying her back to her room.

“Katara what’s wrong?” Zuko asked gently.

“Everything.” Katara sobbed. “These past six months have been the most painful days of my entire life. I used to wish that we’d be together like this again, that we’d be able to raise our daughter together. Now that wish is true but you hate me. And I deserve it. Every day I’m with you here is agony. I love you so much that it hurts. I’m suffering every day because I’m here with you but I know you’ll never love me like I love you. Like I will always love you.” Zuko gingery took Katara’s hand in his.

“I could never hate you Katara.” Zuko said softly. “I must be the biggest sucker in history because despite everything, I can’t bring myself to stop loving you.” Katara was astonished. He still loved her. After everything he still loved her.

“I’m so sorry Zuko.” Katara breathed. “I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”

“I know you are.” Zuko nodded. Katara noticed his hesitancy as he leaned in closer but she remained where she was. Whatever happened would be his choice. She’d waited five years for this. She could wait a little longer. Zuko cupped her face pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. When they parted Katara rested her forehead against Zuko’s.

“I know we have a long way to go.” Katara whispered. “But I swear to all the Spirits, every God, and to you that I will do everything in my power to earn my place in your heart. Even if it takes the rest of my life.”

“I believe you.” Zuko replied. “I love you and our daughter more than anything in this world. What you did hurt like hell. It still hurts now. But I think I’m ready to forgive you.” At his words, Katara’s heart soared and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Thank you Zuko.” Katara sniffled.

“Don’t cry.” Zuko murmured, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I always hate seeing you cry.”

“It’s okay.” Katara smiled. “For the first time in five years, I’m actually happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored one day so I decided to write a part two to this story. Now it's done. Hope you liked it. Ending is much less depressing

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this sucks. I just wrote this cause I needed to vent. I hope you enjoyed it


End file.
